My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
