Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
