Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
