Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
