that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
