Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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