How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize