My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
