he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
