I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
