3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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