If i come over, it means nothing
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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