I cockslap morals
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
