you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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