also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
