he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
