We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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