Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
