Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
