Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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