I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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