Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
