Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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