I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
