I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
