The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize