We're like a lot better than the average bears
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
