I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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