i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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