I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
