Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
