I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
