Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
