Yo dont text me then not text me
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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