I'm jealous of your bromance
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
