i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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