you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
