He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize