I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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