Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize