I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
NoShamevember. You game?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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