i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
