I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
