Are we in a gay sports bar?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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