Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
