you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
