Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
