you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
