Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
