I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
