I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
