dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
