it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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