I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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