He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
