I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
