the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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